Blog Title: Love Me, Love My Sheep
About Me: Shepherdess in love. Barren wife #2. New mother.
Intended Audience: The young and in love! The disgraced and the humiliated. The happy and fruitful.
Having It All
I’m expecting my second child any day now. I have everything I’ve ever wanted: Jacob’s love, a son of my own, another child on the way, favor over Leah, my father’s inheritance. Yet, I don’t feel content. It’s probably just these darn pregnancy hormones that are making me so depressed. There’s just this nagging feeling of dissatisfaction that won’t leave me be. As if having it all, means having nothing.
Leah, Jacob and I actually left Father today. Serves him right for cheating us all. We packed up the kids and camels and off we went. Before we left, after Father had gone to shear the sheep, I stole the household gods. With these idols in my possession, Jacob will be heir to my father’s estate. But I didn’t tell Jacob I took them!
I’ve given birth! My son was born today. “God has taken away my disgrace!” (Genesis 30:23 NIV) I named him Joseph and asked God to give me another son.
Love is a Battlefield
All Leah has to do is touch Jacob’s hand and she gets pregnant! Meanwhile I wait and wait!
Tonight I told Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!” (Genesis 30:1 NIV)
This made him very angry and he yelled at me! “Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?” ( Genesis 30:2 NIV)
Fine. If I can’t get pregnant, I’ll give him my maid Bilhah and she can conceive for me!
Without a child, is life even worth living?
Sister, This Means War!
I can’t believe it! I just can’t believe that father would do something so treacherous, underhanded and cruel! Giving my sister to Jacob in marriage! How could he do this to me?
He has crushed my heart as surely as if he had ripped it out of my chest, dropped it in the dirt, and trampled it with his foot!
And Leah! How could Leah betray her own sister like this?
I don’t know how I can go on! Without Jacob, is life even worth living?
Love at first sight exists! I met the man of my dreams today! We are destined to be together forever. We’ll get married, have children and grow old together. Our life will be perfect!
We met at the well! You know what that means! He was there when I brought the flock . When our eyes met, I felt the earth move. He got up and rolled the stone away from the mouth of the well and watered the sheep.His name is Jacob and his mother is my father’s sister.
When I found out, I ran home to share the good news with my father! I felt like I was running on air the entire way home!
Do you find yourself thinking, if I just had…I’d be happy? Sometimes I do this. But after studying Rachel, I think I will do it less. Having it all is truly having nothing if you don’t have God. A bigger house, another baby, another published piece, these things aren’t going to bring me happiness. Believing and trusting in God will!