Adam’s Blog

This is what I imagined Adam’s blog might be like

Title: Out of Eden

About Me: First man created by God from dust. Lived in paradise until I let my wife talk me into taking a bite out of the big apple. Currently making a living working the land.

Intended Audience: Working husbands and fathers.

Blog Excerpt – What Future Fathers Need to Know About Labor and Delivery

  1. Childbirth is not pretty. It’s messy and terrifying.
  2. Your wife will be in an unimaginable amount of pain.
  3. Do not under any circumstances remind your wife that she brought this pain on herself when she just had to take a bite of the apple because she just had to know everything.
  4. If under any circumstances you forget #3, move quickly out of your wife’s reach.
  5. When you see your son for the first time, rejoice!
  6. Don’t let their angelic faces fool you, our children are sinners.
  7. Remember God promised that our children will be saved!“So the LORD God said to the serpent, ‘Because you have done this, “Cursed are you above all livestock and all wild animals! You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all the days of your life. And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel’.” (Genesis 3:14-15 NIV)

The blog’s in your court! Do you have a title in mind? Do you picture a different post from Adam?

Brianna

Once upon a time there was a young woman who graduated cum laude from university. For years she despaired of ever using her English degree. Then I gave her the direction she needed and now she writes for me - her father so heavenly.

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Barnabas’s Blog

Blog Title: Son of Encouragement, or possibly, if Barnabas liked word play(and who doesn’t?) -Sun of Encouragement: Illuminating God’s Glory

About Me: I’m a Levite from Cypress. I’m not a writer; however, I find God has called me to encourage and strengthen those who would write for him. Currently, I’m on a missionary journey with my good friend, and an author I predict will be a success, Paul. (Visit his blog ‘The Road to Damascus.’)  I invite you to travel with us and spread the good news.

(I imagine Paul had over a thousand followers, while Barnabas had a few hundred. What do you think?)

Intended Audience: Writers, speakers, and followers seeking support and encouragement traveling on the path with Jesus.

Widget/Gadget: There’s a banner on the sidebar notifying readers he is available for speaking engagements. He’d possibly have this as a testimonial blurb: “At Iconium Paul and Barnabas went as usual into the Jewish synagogue. There they spoke so effectively that a great number of Jews and Greeks believed” (Acts 14:1 NIV)

Blog Excerpt:

Misadventures in Lystra

My friends, I have an amazing and true story for you!

Yesterday began ordinarily enough. Paul and I were walking through the town of Lystra when we came across an older gentleman. At first, we offered a polite nod in greeting, but suddenly Paul stopped and struck up a conversation. In the course of our discussion we discovered this man had been lame since birth. The sun was beating down on our necks and our throats were parched, but Paul spoke at length of the Lord. The man listened intently. It was clear he had faith.

Then Paul spoke loud enough to draw the attention of those nearby, “Stand up on your feet!” The man did not merely stand up; he jumped up and began walking!

The people gathered in amazement, but Paul and I casually continued on our way until a friendly couple offered us respite from the heat. It was while sitting in their home that a boy rushed in exclaiming, “It’s time for the sacrifices!”

Paul and I looked at each other in horror. Sacrifices! We tore at our clothes and rushed out into the streets. We had a devil of a time convincing the crowd to not make sacrifices to us.

Friends, why are you doing this? We too are only human, like you. We are bringing you good news, telling you to turn from these worthless things to the living God, who made the heavens and the earth and the sea and everything in them (Acts 14:15 NIV).

Eventually, we were able to convince the crowd not to make any sacrifices, but I remained skeptical as to whether we truly got through to them.

Continue reading

Brianna

Once upon a time there was a young woman who graduated cum laude from university. For years she despaired of ever using her English degree. Then I gave her the direction she needed and now she writes for me - her father so heavenly.

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Cain’s Blog

Blog Title:

First Son – Too arrogant

Not My Brother’s Keeper – Liked it but my brother gets enough attention; I’m not giving him any more on my blog.

Raising Cain– Kind of catchy.

Sympathy for the devil – My dad threatened to take a switch to my behind for even considering that title.

Rage Against the Machine – Too angry.

Rebel without a Clue – This is it.

About Me: First. Baby. Born. Ever. ‘Nuff said.

Intended audience: Those of us, especially boys, who are trying to figure out who we are, where we fit in and what life is all about.

Blog Excerpt –

Life is Like a Thorn in the Backside

It’s not easy being the first child born to man. Yeah, it sounds cool, but it actually sucks. I spend my days outside digging in hard soil when paradise is a stone’s throw away! What did I do to deserve this? It was my mom and dad who screwed up! Why do I have to pay for their mistakes? If I sound mad, it’s because I am. I just can’t help it.

I could be running free through soft, green grass, swimming in crystal clear streams, eating sweet fruit, but I’m not. Thanks to my parents making the worst decision ever, I come home every night with scratches all over from the thorns coming out of the ground.

To make matters worse, I know I’m a complete disappointment to my mother. It’s like she expected me to undo the mistake she made. And I like snakes! They’re cool looking.

I feel like a disappointment to God too. But I just can’t help thinking life is so unfair! I try to hide my anger, but one of these days, God’s going to call me on it.

God loves Abel. Abel doesn’t seem to think life is unfair; I wish I could be more like Abel sometimes, but just sometimes. Most of the time I could just murder him!

Then the LORD said to Cain, ‘Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.’ (NIV Genesis 4:6)

Anger can easily slither in, wrap around our hearts and choke out all our good intentions until we are left completely vulnerable to sin. We must be vigilant that anger doesn’t consume us as it did Cain.

So what do you think? Was I too sympathetic to Cain? I had fun thinking up titles for Cain’s blog. Can you think of another title?

Brianna

Once upon a time there was a young woman who graduated cum laude from university. For years she despaired of ever using her English degree. Then I gave her the direction she needed and now she writes for me - her father so heavenly.

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Delilah’s Blog

Blog Title: Delilah’s Delightful Dalliances

About Me: I’m a single woman with a syndicated relationship column in the Philistine Press. Here I dish about my delightful and sometimes dangerous dalliances.

Intended Audience: Unmarried women in their 20s and 30s navigating the waters of love and dating.

Blog Excerpt:

The Secret about Hair

Hair was this muscle guy with long hair I met at The Valley of Sorek. We flirted a little, but he had too much baggage. I didn’t expect it to go anywhere.

Then Hair claimed to be in love with  me in front of my bosses, the Philistines. They had been after the secret of Hair’s superhuman strength for a while and decided I should seduce Hair into telling me the source of his strength.

“What kind of woman do you think I am?” I yelled.

But revealing the secret behind Hair’s strength would be a good story, a career-making story. I decided I would just ask the guy flat out. No seduction. No games.

So we got together and I came right out and said, “Tell me the secret of your great strength.”

Hair answered, “If anyone ties me with seven fresh bowstrings that have not been dried, I’ll become as weak as any other man.”

Seven fresh bowstrings. Check. Now all I had to do was figure out how to overpower the strongest man on earth and tie him with fresh bowstrings.

On our next date, I asked Hair if I could tie him up. He was only too eager to oblige. Suddenly, the Philistines burst out of my closet! I screamed and Hair snapped the bowstrings as easily as a spider’s web.

I was annoyed. How long had the Philistine’s been hanging out in my closet? What had they been doing in there? But more annoying was the fact that Hair had lied to me. “You made me look like a fool. Come on, tell me how I can restrain you?”

It was like we were playing a game, but I couldn’t be sure who was playing who.

“If anyone ties me securely with new ropes that have never been used, I’ll become as weak as any other man.”

New ropes. Check. I was skeptical that rope would be any stronger than bowstrings, but I gave it a try anyway.

I invited Hair over and asked to tie him up again. I should have known he had been lying about the ropes when he agreed so easily.

This time at least I knew the Philistines were lurking in my closet to make sure I succeeded. I think Hair probably knew they were there too since he snapped the rope as easily as thread.

I was losing this game.

“Seriously, tell me what I can tie you with that you can’t break?”

“If you weave the seven braids of my head into the fabric on the loom and tighten it with the pin, I’ll become as weak as any other man.”

Right. My loom.

While he was sleeping, I schlepped out my loom, blew the dust off and set to work.

After all that, when Hair woke up, he pulled his braids, the fabric and the pin loose with ease.

“How can you say you love me if you won’t give me the secret of your great strength?” Yes I nagged him. I hated to do it, but I was desperate to know the true source of his strength and I wanted to win the game!

I nagged him sick until finally Hair told me everything. “No razor has ever been used on my head,” he said, “because I have been a Nazirite dedicated to God from my mother’s womb. If my head were shaved, my strength would leave me, and I would become as weak as any other man.”

I got my story; I won the game,but it was a bitter victory. Some secrets aren’t meant to be revealed.

(Judges 16  NIV)

Brianna

Once upon a time there was a young woman who graduated cum laude from university. For years she despaired of ever using her English degree. Then I gave her the direction she needed and now she writes for me - her father so heavenly.

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